save a spot, will be here at some point

[cat03]

Yea, something IS definetly up with H and wanting me to file 4mths earlier, he just WON"T give up!! he was civil and all nice til this pm, when he starts harping me about finding a mediator, to just go with the only one I found (yea right).
I tried looking harder and it surprised me the variety of ways they work and charge, I told him so too, but all he wants is just any that will do and now "because I want this over with quickly".
THen we are back to the same ol' crap, the 4mths, he pushes the button that annoys me most "why do you want to hang on to me?". We argue back and forth, anytime we talk D my voice just gets strained and even without me willing it i sound so angry.

He is now in full attack mode "why do you want to drag this?" "i want to move on" and then, oh man, he comes up with "I have been miserable for so long"

Oh My .... I was speachless...

HE was miserable???? he?????
I lost it, I asked him "oh, so you were misable when you found me with another man and I jumped out of the balcony? or when you found out I was half living with another man while I was supposed to be alone and think about my M?" He then said he wans't going to talk about that stuff anymore. I told him that if he still wanted to prove to the ho that he really was S from me back in sept. like he told her last yr he'll just have to BS his way out that one, that i was not going to lie for him nor do him any favors.
He is not even trying anymore and keeps pushing me to the limit, and then all I could think was of the email Amyc send me and her indignation at him pushing for the 4mths, and I said it:
you'll just have to wait, SIT YOUR ASS DOWN! and hung up, I'd had it.

I was supposed to give him the names & #s of mediators I had found so he can have the info too, he's been calling my cell, I ain't answering, he can squirm for tonight (I always answer or call back).

This stupid D is going to cost me, I was happy I'd be out of debt with my tax refund, but no, H will sink me back down again.

*SIGH* but I will be alright, I know i will.

Was reading my devotional tonight and found this gem

Every one has many opportunities to enjoy instant gratification in many ways, but only those who have built up a habit of clear thinkign will survive temptations.