I've made mistakes too, but I'm not a bad person. I may not be what he wants in his life, but I'm not evil. He's told me he doesn't hate me, so why treat me as if he does. He treats total strangers better than he treats me
Once again, I can relate. Sigh. You can only do what you did the other day, throw him off with kindess. Not really kindness to him, but just overall cheeriness.
Hope D3 feels better soon. We had a cold that clung on for awhile. How are you feeling?
I mean, I've made mistakes too, but I'm not a bad person. I may not be what he wants in his life, but I'm not evil. He's told me he doesn't hate me, so why treat me as if he does. He treats total strangers better than he treats me. I did get him wondering the other day. He called and I answered in a very happy voice. His first question was.....what's got you so cheery? Me: Oh nothing, just a nice day!
Sue, I think you know this, but I'm going to say it anyways. This crummy treatment reflects ENTIRELY upon him and his own f'ed up mindset - not on you one bit. He's one confused, pathetic puppy.
In the meantime, you just seem to shine a little brighter each day, in spite of him! Good for you, that's a really beautiful thing to see!
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
I'm glad you're feeling better and hope D3 (almost 4!) gets over her crummies soon too.
Agree with Rob.. of course And of course he's treating strangers better. He at least has a chance of convincing them he has his poop in a group. He knows you know the real deal and it can't be easy for him to face you, especially if he was told OW's H called. This is a man who knows he's lost and probably feels that "happiness" is a future place he'll arrive at when he escapes the mess he's made there. I hate to say this, but IMO, he's not going to change anything until he confronts his greener grass fantasy and figures out he can't run from the source of his unhappiness - himself.
Look at how well you're doing Sue! Even when things are hard to handle you keep your head on straight. I think you're much stronger than you even realize. Take things one day at a time and keep taking care of yourself and D3.
I hate to say this, but IMO, he's not going to change anything until he confronts his greener grass fantasy and figures out he can't run from the source of his unhappiness - himself.
Look at how well you're doing Sue! Even when things are hard to handle you keep your head on straight. I think you're much stronger than you even realize. Take things one day at a time and keep taking care of yourself and D3.
Hi Sheila-
No need to say "I hate to say this" when voicing your opinion. You are right. I have come to realize this too. H will not change until he sees whether or not the grass is truly greener. I don't wish ill will on anyone, but in this case, I do hope that the grass is not greener. I want that in hopes that he will realize that he needs to find happiness within himself. I am afraid for him. He's had so many things that he considers failures in his life. The types of things that most people would just learn from and move past. I know that there is nothing I can do, but I fear that if this fails, he may do something to himself.
Journaling....................................................... D3 seemed better when I picked her up yesterday. H called to see how she was last night and then checked on her when he got home around 10:00. We both fell asleep, so I'm not sure when he left, but D3 woke up at 2:00 am with a fever. Got some medicine in her and with some TLC and more sleep it went away. Tried to be very quiet when she was up as not to wake H. Then realized that H was not even home to have been woken up by us. He snuck in around 2:20. I got up to "use the facility" when he came home. It was more of a "I know you're just getting home" deal for me. I didn't say anything. Instead of him changing his clothes, he tried to act like he was just moving around the apt. I found him asleep on the couch this morning still dressed in his workout clothes.
I feel pretty good today. I have the power color Red on today. I've always heard that Red makes a woman feel/appear more powerful, in control.
Received another email from our father-figure friend. Great guy.
Sue, I needed time to think about your latest revelations on H and hopefully offer some meaningful advice. In the end, all I can give you is a shoulder which is not much. Wish I could do more. If your story was a soap opera television show, the situations you describe would be a real tear-jerker. Much less actually happening. I do not understand his emotional cruelty. And he seems beyond any advice or reason I could give him. Being a single mom will be tough but fortunately you have your family and considering how you handled the last deal 6 years ago and your current 'come to senses' on this deal, you will prevail. Wish you were closer. Did see this: his new partner will likely be subject to the same situation sooner or later. How will she handle it? Likely not as well and then likely he will turn back to you. Seems the pattern.
Take care, *****************************************************************
Time to get back to work!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
I'd love to see what you're reading. The list you sent was very interesting to me. I was also able to go down and put a check mark next to almost each one as far as my H goes.
Sue, Email me and I'll give you more info (email address is in my profile).
Thanks for the email. I'll respond back to you soon.
lwb- I'm feeling better. D3 hasn't had a fever in a few days, but still has the cough. We had a good Saturday. She and I got out and enjoyed some fresh air as we did some shopping.
Journaling....................... A pretty quiet weekend. Friday H called and asked if D3 and I wanted to go to dinner again. We did. I do this to give D3 more time with the two of us. We had a decent time.
On Sat. H worked. D3 and I got out and did some shopping. Nothing major. H made dinner both Sat. & Sunday. It's strange playing the family thing but all along knowing he's just waiting out our lease until he can leave. I know he's been looking at furniture ads in the paper and is still having rental listings sent to him by OW. I don't doubt they come to him from her, as they are all within a few miles of her home.
I did call H out on the rental deal on Sat. He was joking and asked me what I was doing on the computer. I said, looking at the rental listings you keep getting sent to you by someone. I told him that I can't even get on the computer without a reminder. He was completely quiet and just walked away. He was very polite the rest of the day.
Yesterday we were pretty relaxed. We all three went grocery shopping together. Just hung out at home. I got D3 to bed and to sleep pretty quickly last night. I don't know why, but I broke down crying in bed last night. I think H heard me. He left around 11:15.....who knows where. I'm sure he'd tell me it was to workout. Not sure what time he got home.
I had a long talk with my mom last night. I cried a lot. I was just tired. H caught me crying then. He asked who I was talking to. I was honest. He then just asked questions about my family....how people were doing.
I don't feel 100% today. I made sure that I look good though. Nice pants, a nice (tighter) sweater!
Time to get on with work!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
He called and I answered in a very happy voice. His first question was.....what's got you so cheery? Me: Oh nothing, just a nice day! 
And of course he's treating strangers better. He at least has a chance of convincing them he has his poop in a group. He knows you know the real deal and it can't be easy for him to face you, especially if he was told OW's H called. This is a man who knows he's lost and probably feels that "happiness" is a future place he'll arrive at when he escapes the mess he's made there. I hate to say this, but IMO, he's not going to change anything until he confronts his greener grass fantasy and figures out he can't run from the source of his unhappiness - himself.