I am doing really well. I feel that a weight has been lifted from me. I have been able to detach somewhat...not fully, but a bit. I still think about her a lot, but have not initiated any contact at all today.
It goes against every fiber of my being. I want to call her, talk to her, but I know it will have the exact opposite effect. I know many have succeeded before me, so I am doing my best to stay the course.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
Being from Colorado I can appreciate the cathartic effects that being on the mountain can have in any situation. There have been many times in my life that just being on the mountain looking down on the bumps and the town below just erased all my fears and problems...for a little while.
I think this process sucks for all of us the unknown is always uneasy. Me thinks you are doing exactly the right thing, don't fret too much about W for the time you are away there wouldn't be much you could do anyhow.
Not sure where you are but spend a few hours at Barkley's in Frisco get the cheeseburger couple it with a few Fat Tire's and soak in the peace that you can create by just being. Who knows what direction your R is going, and for today it does not really matter.
Fat Tire will cure what ails you my friend.
Me: 33 jacka** whom lied, stole, cheated, and basically treated DW like crap for years DW: 29 kind soul who gave too much to me over the relationship
S7 S4
M: 7yrs Bomb: 10/19 Seperated: 10/24
The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce
BT, I hate to break in on your thread, but I would like to ask houndfan to look in on my thread ....I know he has been a great help to many here, and I like his (and fish's) direct approach. Any help is appreciated.
Back to the regularly-scheduled thread....sorry for the hijack.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
Hound...How are you...I am 5 miles from Frisco. What a day man. i love it here and your words are spot on.
What do you think of me walking out of the house last Wednesday night? Good or bad. had a great time. She had a thousand questions, where ya goin, don't you have to be up early, who ya goin with.. I don't feel like my R is getting any better But I sure as Hell am.
Hi Tree Thanks for posting on your thread. I've had a quick read through of your situation, and I think you should be very proud of yourself. I am always amazed at the people on these boards that can DB and detach while living with their spouses who are all over the show. Its much easier to do the GAL and focusing on yourself when you are separated! (I only say that that so you dont fear separation - if it comes to that I found it much better than living with H in his confusion and upset.). I mentally tried to stop myself thinking about H at the start of our separation by thinking: a) I'm thinking about H again b) What would I like to do for the next half an hour c) Doing something nice and focused on myself for half an hour
Eventually you realise that you can go hours without thinking about them, and when you do think about them it doesnt get you in the guts....
I also realised that I got upset whenever I wasnt able to accept the situation. And it would show through in the interaction with H because I would be fighting against the situation. So I still do have to say things to myself like a) I accept that H and I are separated. That is exactly the way that it is at the moment. I dont like it but I accept it. I can accept it for the next half hour at least! b) I accept that the lovely H I married does not appear to exist anymore. c) I accept that my life is not turning out the way I wanted it to. I dont have to like this turn of events but I do have to accept it.
When you realise that you are going to be OK, even if the thing you are fearing the most happens, it helps with accepting the situation. In fact your situation sucks right now, and it probably cant get much worse, so it can only get better!
Thanks for looking at my sitch. I think you are dead on. I am having trouble thinking of her right now and need to work harder on Detaching. I hate this and can not even think about being seperated from my kids. I think this is the main issue that I have to accept. I do fear separation.
