I posted before reading to the end of your thread, but when your H calls and says some of the things he does, I think he is just feeling you out to see if you will ask him to come back home to you. You are doing good by not falling for this game. Stay detached and let him work his own hell he created out by himself. In the meantime......you stay busy and GAL. Take care of yourself with the right diet and exercise. I've read a lot lately that exercise is really good for people that suffer with depression. If the depression is not too bad, the St. John Worts is pretty good (if you take enough), but if it continues, go to a doctor. You have good reason to be depressed and there is no disgrace in asking for help.
Give yourself a treat to a "make-over" or do something to brighten your life up and feel good about yourself. You know, we women tend to place a lot of blame on ourselves that really is not our fault and it causes us to have low self-esteem. Therefore, I recommend reading good books that will uplift your spirits. Watch only funny shows and not any of the sad love stories or where somebody is dying. I had to stop all of that b/c it wasn't good for me. I think you are at a point that you really need to think about Stella and not worry so much about H. Man, I said that easy, didn't I? Harder to do, I know. But sweetie, you need to for your own sense of value and your health. While you are doing all this for yourself, it will help the time go by quicker and help with the detaching.
You keep coming here as much as you feel like it. You've got our support and we care about you. No matter what happens.....don't give up on you! Okay?
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
