Help I fell off the DB wagon

[sandycay]

Thank you for all you input.

Ms. Ladybug, he has been nothing but NICE since he left. He wants no conflict.

Minkerman, I have been following your situation for the last month and feel for you.

Here is the email is sent him before he came over:

Dear H,


I should not have called you this morning. I wish this phase in our lives could be painless and that I would always be in control of my emotions. Honestly, no matter what either of us says or does there will be times when we will not do things the right way. There will be days when we are not proud of our behavior. This could be really easy if I didn't care but, then what kind of person would I be?

In the morning, they say, you see things more clearly and that is how I feel right now. When I called you, I had been up all night. Now, I see things as they are, not much different than they were yesterday, the day before, or a month ago. There have been times in this month I thought I couldn't make it and I did. There have also been times in this month when things just felt good.

It never does anyone any good to focus on the bad things in life. That being said, over the last month most days I have successfully been able to focus on the good things. My phone call to you this morning was a moment where I lost focus. I don't know what else to tell you other than, now I am okay.

If your like me, your feelings change moment to moment. Because I know these feelings are in constant flux, I haven't asked you any questions in this letter. It's my guess you don't have any concrete answers to the questions I would ask. You don't have to offer any explanations, but I'd like to know that you read this.


W


So, he came over and we talked for a bit he says he doesn't feel like he belongs here anymore. That the three of us (me& the kids) broke his heart and he doesn't know how to recover. He is going to support me until I finish school (3 years). When I asked him point blank (I know bad DB girl) if he was done with marriage yet, he said,,, "I'm not ready to answer that question yet, but don't push my back against the wall because you won't like the answer"

He said he is talking to the OP (he loves her)every few days. But counters that by mumbling something to the effect of it could never work out. She is from Spain, but lives in Qatar and is a pilot for that airline. So they can see each other but not much.

Here is my next dilema: He comes over everyday and hangs out with the kids and I. We (as a family) spend most of the weekends together, and he goes back to his apartment at night. He really wants to maintain a good relationship with me because of the kids he says.

It's hard to go dark when he is here, but he is not ready to take them to his apartment yet. I don't know if I should use this time to my advantage by letting him see the new me. He will start traveling a lot soon so it will be easy to be dark then. He has never been the jealous questioning type either so I don't know if any of that would ever bother him.

I will say that I am the biggest reason this man left. I didn't respect, love, honor, or cherish him like he deserved. My kids modeled my behavior. I have been working on fixing that as well. I have been working on myself for 6 weeks now and see the errors of my ways, but right now I don't think he cares and just wants me to be happy without him.


He is coming over the eat dinner with the kids tonight as they have been busy most of the week after school and have missed him.

So should I continue letting him come over everyday or not?