Wife's MLC????

[minkerman]

You are living the carbon copy of my sitch...almost to the last detail. It was 3 weeks ago when we had the moment in the car that you just had. We had our reconnection all lined up, she was moving back Mar 15, we were selling our place and buying one in the city, we started having incredible sex, kissing, affection, back rubs, doing fun things together. She said the exact same things about my changes.

This past Monday, she phoned me out of the blue, and said she had been trying to find a way out of our M for the last 12 years, she was not in love with me, would probably be moving on. Nothing I could say could change her mind.

So the next day I told her "you're free". You can move on, guilt-free, and so can I. Thank you for making it clear to me, it really helps.

Next day she called me.
- "Are you really moving on?"
- "Well, I will if you are, it makes no sense for me to wait for you by the door, now does it?"
- She went on to say that she was just really scared because we were moving so fast. I reminded her of the things she said.
- She apologized.
- We agreed to slow down, be neutral, and see where things end up.

She has called me at least 3 times since, we have kept talk pleasant, at the end of each call some R talk, but I am sticking to my guns. No matter how well it seems to be going, I will be the one to make sure we move slllooooowwwwwly.

So....be wary and be careful. DO NOT PUSH. Be calm, cool, lovingly detach, and be ready for her to bomb you again.

My advice? Suggest starting again as deep, soulful friends. Start dating. Take your time. See where it goes. You have the rest of your lives, so taking some extra time now is worth it.

Don't make my mistake...it hurts just as much, if not more, the second time you get shot down.

Not meaning to rain on your parade, just saying keep your eyes wide open.

Hope this helps!