Thank you for the words of encouragment. I really appreciate it.
It's tough coming back here to share what's going on in my life at this point. Mainly I feel out of place, but yet don't feel comfortable in piecing.
Loving someone unconditionally is difficult. Especially when in the throes of MLC. They tend to be so mean, and ungrateful. I eventually developed a pretty thick skin to all of it. And the most difficult thing, after it was "over", was breaking the wall down.
I put it up to protect myself and my kids. And it was pretty tough and strong when he was around. So, you can imagine when he decided he had made a mistake...how hard it was to pull it down. And it still goes up sometimes. H still has some MLC "symptoms" that I don't know will ever go away.
He's different now than he was before. In most ways good, but in other ways....not so much.
I agree communication is very important. I never was good at, mainly due to my upbringing. I wasn't allowed to "talk back" or voice my opinions as a child, and have difficulty doing it to this day. I was/am a people pleaser, so when things bothered me I didn't say a word. Until it would boil up to the top and spill over. And it got ugly...trust me. Very ugly.
I've since learned otherwise. Most of the time my H knows how I feel about things, and if I get angry I let him know. The other funny thing is since his MLC, I different too. Most good, I think, other ways not so much. And yes, I admit it freely.
Funny how life is. You know?
RU
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. - David Viscott
