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IM DYING A SLOW DEATH I GUESS. HE DOESNT SEEM TO GET THE PAIN IM IN. I WANT MY OZ, MY ROCK...HES GONE.


Me 53
H 51
OW 25
Bomb may 06
left june 8/ 06
ILYBNILWY (twice!)
7/6/07 H wants to come home
7/21/07 H comes home
7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW
now piecing in earnest

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Posts: 7,941
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Do you think it is time to sit down and have a talk with him?

You cannot keep going like this as it is affecting your health.


The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19
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HE DOESNT WANT TO TALK ....GETS UGLY WHEN I BRING IT UP...OR AVOIDS IT...OR JUST SAYS I DONT KNOW.

I SENT HIM AN EMAIL THIS AM ALL I GOT BACK WAS TXT THAT SAID HE WAS CRYING. WHEN I GET HOME ILL SEND YOU THE EMAIL...


Me 53
H 51
OW 25
Bomb may 06
left june 8/ 06
ILYBNILWY (twice!)
7/6/07 H wants to come home
7/21/07 H comes home
7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW
now piecing in earnest

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 7,941
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Gosh, I am sorry, Patti.

Others more experienced here may be able to help you deal with this. Where is Snodderly?

I will talk to you later.


The Bomb: 08/05
H moves out: 06/2006
H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07
H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08
H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09
Divorced 08-12
Kids: 22, 20, 19
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 4,738
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IM JUST VENTING HERE COS I HAVE NO WHERE ELSE TO VENT...I HAVENT TOLD ANY OF MY FRIENDS ABOUT THIS.....EVERYONE THINKS ITS A HUNKY-DORY


Me 53
H 51
OW 25
Bomb may 06
left june 8/ 06
ILYBNILWY (twice!)
7/6/07 H wants to come home
7/21/07 H comes home
7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW
now piecing in earnest

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,481
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ANew2 from an outside perspective let go of the ow and the apt. That situation is not going to change. Now you mention this Warren can he collect the rent and handle all issues with the apt so your h doesn't have to get involved.

I know you want her out, but is that really going to make a differnce in your happiness with your h.

You are looking at the situation all wrong. Get a new perspective. Shift your thinking. Don't let that one thing affect your thoughts your moods your actions toward your h.

The bottom line he is home and he is home because of you. He didn't come home for the cheapness or the animals. Come on ANew2 who would do that.

I do agree your h still needs to recover from all of this, but you are the one that can help him if you do the right things. Does any of this make sense?


Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
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Patti, Glamgirl has given you some good advice. Please listen to it.

I think the suggestion that Warren pick up the rent is a good one. Plus he will be there to see what is going on...not that you want to snoop. BUT Warren is in your corner and will have your best interests at heart.

Remember that the OW are stubborn and don't want to let go. Just keep praying that she will find another path in life and to let your H be...

Pray or meditate on how you can help yourself through this difficult time.

Kisses!
Vali


Aug '06: H moved out
July '08: H had a kid with the OW
May 12 '09: emancipation day

"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller

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IS THAT HE DOESNT WANT TO BE INTIMATE WITH ME THAT REALLY GETS ME....ITS ALL TIED IN , HE HASNT LET GO....


Me 53
H 51
OW 25
Bomb may 06
left june 8/ 06
ILYBNILWY (twice!)
7/6/07 H wants to come home
7/21/07 H comes home
7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW
now piecing in earnest

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 3,481
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Posts: 3,481
I am not so sure about the not letting go. Guilt factors heavy in all of this. Really is that what this is all about ANew2? Is the intimacy that important?

Sure I had intimacy with my h while gone, but I would give that up to have my h home. You see the difference?

Give it TIME! TIME has a way of healing all things. Thanks Jeanette for my new perspective!


Me 50
H 42
S 22
S 9
D 7
M 12
T 17
H moved out 8/2006
H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks
H moved home 5/2011 for good

"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 4,738
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HES BEEN HOME FOR 9 MONTHS HE WAS SLEEPING W/ COW FOR 6 OF THOSE MONTHS....SO I GUESS NOW WE START OVER. ITS LIKE THOSE FIRST MONTHS DONT COUNT


Me 53
H 51
OW 25
Bomb may 06
left june 8/ 06
ILYBNILWY (twice!)
7/6/07 H wants to come home
7/21/07 H comes home
7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW
now piecing in earnest

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