My husband is having an affair

[MichelleLT]

Unfortunately, your H's involvement with OW has a lot of emotional components to it. He is very confused, and yes, she is an addiction. A lot of people with sucess stories say that their WAS admitted they tried to break off the A at points but couldn't, there was some thrill to it that was very addictiing.

Unfortunately, I don't think anyone has found a way to speed up the process - he will have to realize for himself that she is just a person with her own set of faults and that the grass really isn't any greener over there. Reality will set in eventually, how he handles it and how you react will determine the outcome of your M, not the fact that he is having this affair.

Just be prepared - this journey will probably take a while. You will need to be very strong. You will need to think about boundaries - if any of his behaviors are harming your S for example, they need to be discussed.

Some things to consider - goal-setting. What are small, achievable, action-oriented goals for yourself? They should be small so you can see progress in a week or two, and focus on actions you can take because you only have control over yourself. They can be about your R/M, like how you react to things or trying to learn your H's love language (which reminds me, if you haven't look at the 5 Love Languages, there's a lot of material online, but also a couple books - good stuff) but also include some that involve your happiness and GAL.

Hang in there.