Exactly MMF...which to me mirrors exactly what Althea is saying. So often the emphasis is placed on the OP...or baby steps.
Our focus on baby steps should be on ourselves. I don't think Althea is saying give up on your marriage. I think she is saying workon ourself and focus less on what they are doing and more on what you are doing.
I too read people who came when I did and they are despondent and grasping for hope...they ae not at a point of peace with themselves, doing what they need to do for themselves...they are caught up in still trying to figure them out...their lives are still affected by someone else. When a person is with someone else for years and years and appears happy with them...they are no longer be the OP...they are the P!!! Pinning your hopes on them "waking up"and coming home aren't very realistic. If you are still in the same spot you were when they left, you aren't doing the work you need to do.
