I am a newby here, but I can say how I and my S are reacting to the same sitch. I am older tough and my S is too. I am 4 month's after bomb too. My H is asking from beginning S22 That he like that S22 is joying his NEW life with OW and her family! (2 kidds, D18 and S16) S22 is always refusing, but has a lot of contact with H. They are sailing thogether and in between they are seeing each other at S22 house and have dinner out. S22 is telling me that he won't see her because his dad and she had have an afaire for almost 1 year before telling everyone.(And making plans for the future with his mom). S22 is telling me also that he is pretty angry about the easyness of doing all this stuff and not bother for feelings the left behind one's. And also he's mad at the whole IL familie who are already going for dinners with H and OW. S22 said why is that so easy? Why can he do the things he is doing with the support of them? So the kidds are struggling a lot. My H is always trying to make me say things to S. About his study, about his refuse to meet her (he actually did, but told her that if she would come over with his dad to sailing or somewhere else S would be gone!Even if there must be a race done!)about his skiing trip with me (too much money!, but H has invited S on his skiing trip with OW) and so on! I am always asking H what he is meaning with the questions precisely and than I am saying that I don't have the same trouble but if he likes he must be telling that to S22! So I am not interfering anymore! And you know what. H never complanes to S22 about anything of the things he was complaining to me!Not a word! Yikes, its as if I am making all the complanes up! I try to let it go because I can't do anything about it! Only say to S that H is still S dad and that H is doing his best to keep the contact. And also that it is only S22 desision to meet OW. (My heart is bleeding for that part because I HATE the whole idea!!) But I have to let it go, I know that. Its not fair, they can start a new live and where are the LBS? We have to let go everything!
So here is everything going very fast. Next week I have the 2th appointment with my L for advise for settling the money and look how long D can be delay! H is pushing very hard for me to accept his offer and I won't whitout advise.
I hope I have helped you a bit. Thake care of you and your 2 boys. Tell them they don't have to choose between theyr dad and you. OW is an other story! I am sure you can handdle this.
Hugs. Merel
H50 Me50 S22 M23,T34, living together before M7 bomb end10/07 Moving out within 10 minutes after bomb OW12/06
