I not sure that the issue is is there such a thing as MLC or not. The red convertible and MLC lore has been around a long time. It seems to be part of the human experience as is the "change of life" for women. For some women it is no big deal, for others well..a mess. Perhaps midlife for some is no big deal, for others..a mess.
The hard questions seem to be is my spouse in a MLC, a WAS, or just a jerk as the NY times article suggested. That seems to be the problem. How to know.
For most of us LBSs the shock is so great at the beginning, we have no idea what's what. I know it has taken me a good year to get my head back to normal and now I have to get my life together, deal with divorce issues, and a H who is telling me a different story every other day. He has his own issues of guilt and doubt about his choices to deal with that are so profound he can't even talk about what he has done.
In the end I have no way of knowing if my H will ever be in my life again as a H. I have no way of knowing if he will stay with OW as I can't read the future. I do know it is worth giving a year or two to see what happens after a 30 year relationship. All said and done, at least I understand a lot more about me, life, love, relationships, and people in general. That's all good by me.
