Okay, now maybe it's my turn to offer some help. BTW, lodo is just a nickname. I did used to live in CO, though - but down in the SW corner.
So, 8 years ago my W went to CA to start grad school (she ended up dropping out with a MS, but has now reinstated for the PhD). We talked a lot before she left and planned how we were going to handle the distance. She missed me terribly, while I was strong and detached. It bummed her out when I was down during our calls because she couldn't be there to support me.
Well, long story short - distance is too hard for a marriage to support, IMO. It made us split up for 8 mos. I think what would have really made the difference during that period was for me to have done the unexpected. Sure, we had our planned calls and visits, but I never just called and said, "I want to see you - can I hop on a plane and be there in the AM?" You know? The planned stuff only works for so long. You have to be there and support each other and be involved in each other's life so that you don't grow apart.
And I hear you thinking the same things I thought during that period - hey, I'm okay by myself, maybe I don't need her after all. Beware of that in a big way because it's a relationship breaker! Be enough of a fighter to do the spontaneous stuff that places your relationship above everything else (but don't do that completely - you don't want to show up when she's flipping out over getting a paper ready).
How do you trust her? You make the decision to do so. Sure, you could end up hurt in the future, but that's happened before and you lived through it. You have to put yourself on the line again to get the good stuff.
