Questioning the concept of MLC and "Standing"

[brandnewday]

Althea,

I always love reading your posts, you have such a lovely way with words.

I can only comment on my experience with MLC.

I watched a Man become the complete opposite of the Man he used to be.

A Man who once loved his family and his home life, became something that I actually have trouble describing.

I stood for only one reason...

I knew there was something wrong.

The changes happened so suddenly, right after his Dad died.

I knew that this was more then just someone deciding that they had had enough of Married life.

The DB-ing principles did help me especially in the begining.

The support on this site from others here had a huge impact on me.

For the first year I was one of those desperately depressed Women you speak of. It was terribly hard for me to be alone with the children, knowing my Husband was far away living in lala land.

He went through various stages, including anger, and depression.

As crazy as it may sound, he did say things that were off the wall, and he sounded very convincing.

Then a few days later he would deny the things he said.

He wrote disgusting emails and left me horrble voicemails.

He sounded ike someone who was possessed.

I had to learn how to live without him as part of my life, and I had to learn how to love him from a distance.

The most important thing I learned was to look at myself.

I had to make those changes for me.

I had to face my fears and deal with life in the best way I could.

Basically, I had to grow up.

I chose not to date anyone, because I really wasn't interested in getting involved in a relationship, especially since I was still Married.

I got closer to my kids.

I got reaquainted with God.

Althea, as you know my Husband is home now.

If you met him you would never ever beleive that this was the same Man.

I sent Lis a photo, and she asked me if this was my Husband, even though she had seen many photos during MLC.

Standing is a personal decision, I try not to shove it down anyone's throat.

Not every single WAS will come back. Many will try but it will be too late for them.

My therapist told me in the very begining of the MLC that one day the choice to take him back will be mine....

She just didn't tell me it would take several years.