Let me preface this post by saying this, do not call me a pot stirrer, understand that my frequency on the boards has been limited sometimes and I post after the fact many times. I will also say that this is not personal, to me this is business, the business of DBing.
RCR, your initial post tripped me out a little. I believe it was good up until you asked for SG to not moderate. I believe in all of this even SG has learned a valuable lesson and I for one believe we need to give her the chance to learn from what all of these wonderful posters have said to her. I supported AMy and you in your return, now you are back, be back as the strong and well respected poster that we all faught for.
IMP, I do not get your style yet, I will at some point. I think the problem is we all want the same thing, but we are so dead set on looking for the negatives that none of us focus on what it will actually take to correct the problem.
Jeanette, your post to Bworl, pretty wrong...People find romance and relationships in many different places, how they find them is not relative nor worthy of judgment. If Bworl had found love in the video room of a porn shop and it was a good woman like deb, I would certainly support it rather than be upset about where they found each other. I would instead encourage them to share their common interests. In this case their common interest is to have an open and honest relationship. I will leave it at that.
As far as all the other stuff on this thread, I am going to address it in the style that I am most comfortable with, that of a manager overseeing a new project.
IMHO we have all lost site of the mission at hand. It is not to beat a dead horse and continue to focus on the negative factors deterring us from completing our task. It is to look for resolution and to brainstorm to find solution oriented tasks to insure that the issues that have stopped our progress do not occur again. We need to focus on how to resolve the issues that led to the "failure" that occurred to cause all of this.
My advice, everyone in the know about all the goings on need to start thinking outside the box a bit and come up with realistic obtainable solutions to avoid these problems as we endeavor to move forward with the task at hand. By the way, the task at hand is to have a safe environment to discuss our relationship problems and learn to cope with our situations. Just want to make sure everyone remembers the task at hand.
So my advice to all that have posted on here, answer these questions within yourself and post about how to resolve them.
1. How do we improve communication between moderators and posters?
2. How do we insure that those who have broken the rules are warned and afforded the opportunity to correct their mistakes?
3. How do we get posters to understand that their are many different styles on this board and if it rubs them the wrong way, how do we suggest they handle it?
4. How do we fix the damage that has occurred between some of the posters on these threads?
5. What is the lesson that we should all learn from what has occurred and how do we prevent such a high price the next time so,ething like this happens.
Bottom line, we are all supposed to be here for one another. We do not have to like everyone who posts, God knows there are plenty of folks on here who cannot stand me. However we should find the level of respect for one another that shows that we understand where each of us is coming from. We all came to this website for a very horrible reason, remember? We are all here because our lives changed, fell apart, took a turn that we did not expect them to take. That was a lot of hurt that we had to deal with, every one of us has some bottled up anger, resentment, fear, and self esteem issues. How on earth is it that we all know how much we have each been hurt and yet we can still continue to do things that are hurtful to one another. For gods sake if nothing else we should all at the very least have compassion for one another.
Again RCR, I like the thought of why you started this thread. I think it is a great idea to have a thread dedicated to improving these situations. Now how do we make sure that it serves the actual purpose that it was intended to serve?
I hope that everyone can sit back and absorb all that has gone on in the last 11 days. I hope you can all see that this needs to be fixed and change needs to occur from us (the posters) and from them (the mods). The thing is, it will not change if we cannot do this in a positive manner and leave all the self serving bullshitt on the curb where it belongs.
