(((((Sandy))))) Listen a lot. Talk very little. Validate his feelings. That does not mean agree, just allow him to have them. He probably really doesn't know what he wants, and nothing you say is going to change that right now. When he says something that makes you ill, and you have to respond, say, "I'm sorry you feel that way." Or nod your head, or, just say,"yes". Try not to juadge him, no matter what is happening inside.
There will be plenty of time for doing "something", but for now, "nothing" is the best you can do. As the doctors say, "Do no harm."
