Telling someone to only believe half of what they do and none of what they say or whatever that expression is (?) is damaging and, IMO, counterproductive.
Smooches, Althea, but I have to disagree with you on this one point. SO often, the WAS says things that the LBS takes literally at face value - when the WAS is so messed up, they don't even REMEMBER saying it, and later on will vehemently deny they ever COULD have said it! This saying, IMHO, saves a lot of people a lot of unnecessary grief that comes from taking everything they say literally.
That's not to say that sometimes they don't actually mean what they say. Especially if they're saying you can do better - you probably CAN!
As for dating - my point is this: if you're NOT done with your spouse, then dating often leads to very messy situations, where the WAS comes back and the new beau gets the shaft, and the reconciliation with the WAS is bedeviled by yet another skeleton in the closet. If you're not done, isn't it better to first give the IMPRESSION of dating, and let the WAS have a chance to figure it out before involving yet another person?
Of course, if you're done with your spouse, then by all means date. And there's no denying that spending an evening with someone who thinks you're fascinating and attractive can be very healing for the LBS.
