H is having affair after all

[Evie]

thank you all, at least I have somewhere to come and vent and get support.

I read the article, it seemed mostly about reconcilation and moving forward together after the affair, a place i'm not at right now.

I've broken all the DB rules tonight, b/c I have texted him quite a large text. I knew i shouldn't, but I've kept quiet and put a lid on my anger for so long that I thought tonight I could be allowed to express my anger in his direction. I didn't beg or cry, I just called him a few choice words and said he had a choice and he made the choice to have an affair, that he ran away from our problems because he wanted fun. I said i didnt want to ML to him when I didn't feel loved and whilst I wasn't feeling connected i certainly didn't want to make home movies in front of mirrored wardrobes dressed like a tart. I'm sorry if thats your thing, I don't think I would mind, just that XH used to get off on it and it made me feel cheap and nasty.

Anyway, he's gone quiet which is very unusual. I told him to sack the bitch before i got there on saturday (don't know what i'll do if he doesn't sack her, any suggestions??? - legal ones anyway.

It's not only the sickness i feel from thinking about them physically, but its teh deception and the way i found out, i don't think he intended to tell me, as he said he was sorry for the way i had found out. Why the decption, why not tell me last year when I thought I knew.

He's a coward and right now I hate him.

X Eve