Wow, good for you being such a caring guy in spite of the MLC ugliness. You are a a strong and admirable person. Your children and wife are very lucky to have a guy like you in their lives.
By the way, I've read about other guys here who have gone through a similar situation to yours. Situations where the wife left an affair she felt emotionally tied to, because she knew it was wrong, or didn't want to hurt the children. The thing you need to keep in mind, and not take personally, is sometimes they don't "feel love" right away towards their husbands or marriage. But over time those feelings do come back (oftentimes deeper than originally there).
You will just need to be patient and not expect too much for her. Expect her to grieve the loss of the affair/fantasy she had.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
