WAW....now the LBS

[HOPEFULinCALI]

Thanks for sharing your intensive...I want to go but don't know if $ or WAW will.

I knew that my husband would likely never be receptive to going back to a therapist. So that is not always the best measure. For me it was about planting a seed of doubt. I broke the bank on this one and either way I feel it was worth it, and I am a saver. Your wife still sounds a little hostile right now. Anytime before reducing the hostility is not a good time. She will just see it as pressure. Michele can give you advice on how to approach her if she is unreceptive.

HiC: and that knowing all of these things and with the right therapist our marriage could be saved.
jmw: quite an admission...I'd consider that positive...

Thanks! I sure hope so. At first I tried time and time again, without success, to get him to understand that we had the wrong therapist. So I hope this is the beginning of him thinking realistically about out sitch.

Hic: Michele and I talked about my plan of action which included to let him know that I wasn't holding out hope for reconciliation, that I would still need time to come to terms with the D and I wanted to continue to work on our friendship.

jmw: I'd have a hard time saying that knowing I felt something different...How do you juggle such feelings/thoughts? I wonder how many LBS need to show their WA's that they aren't holding out hope...I imagine it applies to me...

I know this is what is best for my marriage and I see the results of taking pressure off of him. It also helps you to detach. Michele suggested that by telling him I wasn't holding out hope that he would allow himself to open up to me. I also know this is true because that same night when we talked after the intensive he told me that he would give me the cold shoulder because he thought I was still holding out hope. By giving me the cold shoulder he was trying to send me the signal, hey don't get too comfortable.