Jenny, I haven't seen it mentioned yet, but there is one thing you absolutely must stop doing this second.

Snooping.

It will get you nowhere and will do nothing but get you worked up over things over which you have little control. You will eventually confront him with something that turns out to be 100% innocent, and then you will have done damage.

Also, calling the high school friend was a bad move.

Sorry to be blunt, but you need to stop doing these things.

Me: 54
Her: 50 and sexy as hell
M: 32yrs
T: 34yrs
Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection"
Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire"
She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08!
Everything's GREAT!