Moved out Sunday...very upset.

[Dom R]

Dom...that is so true. Thank you for sharing that insight. The question I have is...isn't it imposible for a LBS to "change" the view that the WAS has on the marriage? Doesn't that have to come from within the WAS?

Nate:

not everyone who asks for a divorce is a "WAS". If you want to know who is, you should read the article on it
Short summary: Someone who decides to just "give up, and stop working on a marriage", for years. Then the fact that they havent worked on the marriage, makes the marriage break down even further, to the point where they finally feel justified in leaving. (It's basically passive-aggressive destruction of a marriage: "I didnt do anything wrong, so it's not my fault". The irony being, that the fact they 'didnt do anything', was a large component of what made the marriage get so bad)

Your question was a little ambiguously worded. I will make the assumption that you meant to ask about "the view that the WAS has about marriage in general", since that's what i wrote about.

I agree that in my opinion, there is nothing an LBS can do to "force" their spouse to change their views or definition of marriage.
They can at least offer their own view as a discussion point, though.


In the end, even threatening the other person with divorce, etc, cant really "change their viewpoint". It might change their behaviour.... for a while. But in my opinion, only discussing marriage, and somehow relating it to things that are meaningful to that specific person, can ever change their viewpoint on it.

So.... maybe it's kind of a mutual thing. One person has to offer, and the other person has to accept. If no-one at least makes an offer, then there is nothing to accept.