here comes the sun.,...It will be alright

[NoCodeBlues]

My W is pretty anal about finances. Before we started dating she had gotten involved with a boyfriend who helped her ruin both of their credit histories. Ever since she's insisted on staying on top of finances and gets very upset if things happen outside her control.

I can say that during my depression I failed to take that into account, got involved in a little stupid "retail therapy", and proceeded to cause a lot of unneeded friction between us. W continues to use that to beat me up and still presumes to tell me how to handle my bills and my finances -- even though we're now separated, by her demand. (She never minds the fact that I work in the IS group under the Finance department at work and I deal with company accounting and finances all the time.)

Of course I now realize that the sorry state of our joint finances was but a canard, a distraction from the real issues in our R. They do play a factor, but certainly not the overriding one.

The real problem between us is trust.

Ultimately, W's trust in me is also but a part of the whole problem. I think my W has a lot of deep-seated insecurities, and, despite being a self-professed Christian, has not learned to really trust God to take care of her -- to "consider the lilies of the field" or that He keeps his "eye on the sparrow" -- that He is the Providence in our lives.

Until recently, I too had problems in truly trusting Him to provide, so I cannot blame her too much. We all have difficulties with this to one extent or another, it would seem.

Trust is difficult; it takes a lot of courage and faith.

[Dr LOve]

My W is pretty anal about finances.

Mine too, And I did hate always asking about spending money and she would just go out and buy things becasue she knew the money sitch. SOO I do did some "retail therapy" for a while. not anymore.

Until recently, I too had problems in truly trusting Him to provide, so I cannot blame her too much. We all have difficulties with this to one extent or another, it would seem.

Trust is difficult; it takes a lot of courage and faith.

My W is not religious, can't say I am either but I do put my faith in God. (Went to catholic school for 8 years nuns were mean to me)

You and Mcc and I HAVE to get together one of these nights.

Thanks buddy
Dr Love

[Dr LOve]

I had a good day today

Dr Love

[LL44]

That is very good!!

[Snow White]

Good to hear!!

[Dr LOve]

Just a little journaling......

Tonight wife cooked chicken. She always takes the skin off because "it's not good for you".
I happen to like the skin...... well she left the skin on three pieces....
Ok she is either thinking "hey he likes the skin so I will leave it" Or It’s not good for you so I will leave it on HIS.....

Ok just kidding... I know she left it because I like it. When I got home wife informed me that she was on the phone will Dell form 9:00 till 1:30. And after talking her into spending $260.00 that we don't have she got her computer fixed.
I just smiled and said “that’s cool" while thinking I will be working the next two weekends straight to pay for this... But hey if it makes her happy it will be worth it. She told me about a Police job at the local university that I am qualified for. I asked her should I quit the job I have had for the last 28 years. She said no but there are opportunity’s out there....
What the heck was that about????? When the lay offs first started at our company... (W and I worked at the same place) I wanted to get laid off. Great package. And I can adapt. I can do almost anything. W has never worked anyplace else. But after the 5th round of lay offs w got hers. 12 lay offs later I am still there... go figure...

Anyway got ta go. The J.D is starting to kick in and the keys are getting blurred...

Later
Dr LOve

[Michael Mc C]

Hah! My wife and I have a running joke about how that when she bumps me off she's going to make me dig the hole first...

Hope the chicken was good.

Okay, my guess is that she feels your job is insecure, regardless of how many layoffs you have survived. I don't recommend switching careers just because of this but keep this feeling of hers in your back pocket for when you discuss things like her job status and your overall financial well-being.

I have been working in the computer industry for 15 years and have always been the one my friends and family come to for help with computer issues. If your wife's computer has problems again, why not shoot me an email (let me know as much as you can about the computer, but most importantly the operating system) and maybe I can help you out. No guarantees of course but anything I can do to help my brother from another coast...

[Dr LOve]

Hey MMC,

thanks, Funny thing is my W has a degree in computer stuff. she was a programer before she lost her job. My still working may be another sub issue. My job is pretty secure. But.... I did not go to school to learn what I do. I learned on the job. I calibrate an fix electronics. we are a top of the line calibration lab that does goverment work also. I am good and can fix and calibrate anything but have no piece of paper from a school. I think maybe deep down somewhere my W Recents the fact that she is "educated" and lost her job and I am still there.
Hey dude ya got mail

Dr Love

Hey the chicken was great. I ate three thighs. when wife came into the kitchen she asked "did you eat all three? I said yes why did you want one? she said she does not like thighs. I told her I like thighs, breasts and every other part....

later

[Sara]

Hi H,

I'm home. Nice talking to you the other day. I had a good time in Lake Tahoe and Reno. couldn't win at the casino though. funny, men kept trying to use me for good luck and it never worked.

[Michael Mc C]

Man oh man. That settles it. You are the west coast 'me'. The thigh is my favorite while my wife can't stand the thigh!

By the way, do you have chickens in CA with 3 thighs? LOL

You have mail now too.

I don't have a degree in computer science but i do have a certificate - not sure how much further along that will get me!!

I was a programmer for about 12 years and I'm now a project manager (about 3 years).

Seriously, there are 360,000 people who work for my company worldwide. I can probably find an answer for you instead of you spending $260. Worth a shot anyway!!

Then again, if your wife has a degree, she may not want help from someone on the 'outside'. Either way, the offer is there. I think I've seen a few times that her computer has given her some problems.

My wife's computer problems have all been physical. We joke about it now so I can tell you: I have utterly abused my wife's computer (mine really). I have thrown it off of our deck into the backyard and left it there overnight. On another occassion (Black Friday) I took it and simply threw it onto the deck. When she told me I shouldn't leave it there I picked it up and threw it into the garbage can. I then threw a wine bottle into the can on top of it and bent, but did not break, the motherboard.

The damn thing booted up every time, although I had to pull grass and mud out of it before plugging it in after the first instance!!

Just over a week ago we rebuilt it using an old case that I had and the thing is running great (the power supply took a crap finally - it, too, was damaged back in November by an errant wine bottle).

Thank GOD those days are gone. I look back and wonder how I became that person - but at the same time wonder how SHE became that person.