No lawyers - so you will have to represent yourself.
(i) You want to void the signed settlement that you have in place. You cannot just void an agreement that you have signed just b/c you have changed your mind. If the law allowed you to do that - signed settlements would have no meaning.
You will have to research the law yourself or go to legal aid for valid legal reasons available for throwing out the settlement. Examples of valid reasons typically include, coercion, duress, fraud, mental incapacity, etc. And you are going to have to support the valid reason with facts. For example, saying I was coerced is not enough. You will have to state exactly how you were coerced in a manner that fits the legal definition of coercion.
(ii) You need to do the work and create a draft of the new settlement that you want to substitute for the old settlement. You have to be clear on what you want and why - especially those terms that you are changing. You need to present what you want at the same time as you inform the judge that you want to void the old settlement. Saying I want the old settlement out - but am not really sure about what I want in the new one does not work.
(iii) Custody - what do you want? Be proactive and file for what you want and put H on the defensive. Bring the abuse papers if necessary to support what you want - not in defense to fight what H wants.
(iv) Stop deciding what you are going to fight for based your apprehension of H's reaction to your decision. H's reaction is not in your control and irrelevant. It is only relevant if his behavior poses a threat to you or your children.
(v) Stop emailing H with questions. Find your own realtor. Get your own appraisal of your property, 401k, etc. H's people are NOT working in your best interest.
As an example, in my case, I wanted to keep the house and needed a low appraisal. The X was lazy and never finished any projects around the house. I made my house look as messy as possible and pointed out every single thing that needed to be fixed or didn't work and asked what the selling price would be "as is" to lower the price as much as possible.
And you are right a good attorney will cost you money - especially since you have the complication of a signed settlement agreement. Complications always cost money.
Since you are doing this yourself, you have a lot of work and research to do to prepare. I am an attorney - and this would be a lot of work for me.
