My husband is having an affair

[alwayshoping]

Here is an email that my husband sent to me last night:

"Sorry for everything that is going on.. I know it sucks... I guess especially for you... It is not easy.. I do not want you to feel as though you are carrying the load when it comes to our son. This is why I have been staying at the house as much as i can and especially during the week days so you are not running around too crazy.. On the other hand it is hard some times to be in the house for long stretches (weekend days etc).. Not because I can not stand to be around you.. I do not have any bad feelings or ill will but it is very awkward and unsettling considering the situation.. I have been racking my brain every day trying to figure out a good way to handle this for me and everyone.. I would like to talk about maybe a schedule (not sure that is possible or realistic at this point) but I just want to make sure we are on the same page a much as possible given the situation???

Just a recap...my husband is having an affair that has been going on for about 1 and 1/2 months now. He is continuing to spend more and more time away from the house with OW. We have a 4 year old son. We are in a situation where financially we can not support another living arrangment so until the house sells, which may take some time we are strapped to this house. This has been a blessing for me...I believed it gave me an opportunity to DB and maybe plant seeds of doubt. H is however very wrapped into what he is doing currently with OW and it seems to control his every movement and thought. I even notice increased in patience with our son when he is here. Very out of character because my H has always been a caring sensitive man.

The last thing I want is further separation between us but I know that I can't fight this...he needs to go through this process on his own. I just don't know how to DB and not show anger but care and understanding. We are not on the same page because I don't want this and the awkwardness is because of the decisions he is making. I dont't want to be a door mat and continue to just go with what ever he is asking, but I know that i cant beg or plead him to stay either.

I have no idea what his thoughts are on a schedule, but I know that I am not willing to leave our house and make arrangements to not be here when he is. Plus I am mostly concerned with the effects this is having on our 4 yr old son.

I need advice on how to approach this with him and be fair to my son, myself and to be respective of my H as well.

Please help me with thoughts.

Everyone has been so kind and I truly and at a lost and havent' slept since I received his email.....