Loving is not the way I would describe my detachment. I have felt it and would like to be that way but feel totally incapable of it at the moment.
Up and down is how I feel. Not so much sadness now - just residual anger when I have to deal with some mess he has left in his wake. I haven't figured out how to quote, but Zebra, you say that I have to "choose to stop allowing his drama to run" me. It's nice to know that it's not just me who thinks that it's his drama, not mine. I have felt like this has been my problem to fix but finally I'm getting to the point of being able to let the responsibility rest on his shoulders. This is his stuff.
I really don't see much hope of him ever coming back and I have to start to accept that there truly is nothing I can do. I have done everything I could think of. I am ready to be outside of this drama. I want my life back - regardless of how far away it is from the life I was living previously. I am ready to move on and away from someone who has been so cruel to me. How can someone with whom you were so in love and who you thought loved you back treat you with such disregard?
Me: 38 H: 41 D13 D10 S7 M: 15 years T: 17 years Discovery of EA: 10/07 Suspected PA Trial separation: 1/31/08
