Help I fell off the DB wagon

[sandycay]

A little background. I found out on Jan. 20th my husband of 17yrs was having an affair with a woman who lives on the other side of the globe. He met her through work over there. They have seen each other only a few times. This started in Nov'07.

He broke it off that day, and committed to working on our marriage. Well 10 days later he contacted her and told me about it and moved out that night. His decision. He loves her very much. We have not told our children the truth about his leaving.

He told me that she didn't want to have anything to do with him, since he "hurt her" by breaking it off with her. So, I figured their contact was over and that he needed space and time. So I have been giving him that for a month.

He has been at the house everyday to see the kids and I often accompany them on their outings per his invitation. He states that we have to friends no matter what the outcome.

Well, I found out they are in communication with each other. I blew it this morning and called him and wanted to know what was I suppose to do with the knowledge. He wants to know if I am pushing his back up against the wall, because I won't like the answer and he has to go to work and we will talk later. I said why are you contacting her? He said, you know why?

He states he doesn't know what he wants. What do I say or do when we continue this conversation later? I am having a hard time detaching from him.

Because of their limited contact, I don't think the affair will ever be stale and get old.

This was a good, stable man until this happened and this has thrown him for a loop.

I really appreciate any advice on what to say or do at this point.