You seem to have fallen into the role of a developing OW. As I read your stuff, I feel I'm witnessing the unique position of seeing how an EA develops. A friend who lends an ear, is empathetic and compassionate with little pressure.
From what I know of the history of how my WAW's EA then PA developed, you sound as if you are a lot like the her OM was in the beginning... listening, comforting, just being there for her. The interesting thing to notice is that often EA's develop just that way. There is no plan, no agenda, just friendly willingness to listen and be a friend.... and slowly that builds into something else, something bigger. Since in the beginning there is no real goal on either part, little patience is required.
However, you do have a goal, a real "agenda" of sorts, so you must keep your perspective of the patience required for the outcome of your situation to equal that of how an innocuous friendship develops over time into an EA, then PA. You know already how time is your friend, and more time will help this.
I realize I'm not really telling you anything you don't already know, but it's fascinating to watch your progress. Keep up the very good work and resist the temptation to rush anything. Your progress and patience is very impressive.
God Bless,
z
you hit the nail on the head. I served as an "OW" to my H's OW for several months as well before he came home. My H's return was almost identical to what Steeler's H is doing right now.
Steelers, you are doing great. Patience gets very hard at this point because you begin to wonder why he can't just leave her. Why can't he just break away if he really knows what he wants. Something I'm still not quite sure I understand fully, but it seems to be a common theme among these men. It's great that he feels so much better after talking to you. You are his safe haven. Keep up the good work!
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
