I understand what you've been going through regarding the depression -- only, I was the one who was depressed.
I understand what your W means about taking any drug to treat something -- when it came to AD's I felt the same way. But my W convinced me to talk to my physician, and he prescribed me a low dosage for AD. Reluctantly, I did so, but I realize this helped.
Does your W have a doctor she respects enough to talk to about this?
Second, even with the AD I never came fully out of the depression -- maybe you never really do, I don't know. But after the bomb, having hit rock bottom, I turned to God. I had gotten far off from the path He meant for me. Without His guidance and His love, I could not have made it. It wasn't until I got back on the right path with my Lord and Savior that I was able to finally turn the corner on this depression. Oh, it's still here, mind you. With the separation and the anguish brought on continually from my W, the depression is always my companion, a great millstone I have to carry. But with God's love I think I have the strength to carry it now. I have an optimism now, that as I work past this most tragic and heart-rending of ordeals in my life, whatever the actual outcome, this burden will lessen over time, and eventually I will be so much stronger that nothing will ever drag me down again.
Finally, I know that the spouse's depression can become contagious (sadly, the evidence is there in my W's MLC and EA/PA.) So don't forget to look after yourself too.
It is evident, H, that you have loads of patience and a good heart. If your W ever gets through this and awakes fully from the fog, she will recognize this. Michael's advice to find ways of encouraging her is very sound and well said.
