You seem to have fallen into the role of a developing OW. As I read your stuff, I feel I'm witnessing the unique position of seeing how an EA develops. A friend who lends an ear, is empathetic and compassionate with little pressure.
From what I know of the history of how my WAW's EA then PA developed, you sound as if you are a lot like the her OM was in the beginning... listening, comforting, just being there for her. The interesting thing to notice is that often EA's develop just that way. There is no plan, no agenda, just friendly willingness to listen and be a friend.... and slowly that builds into something else, something bigger. Since in the beginning there is no real goal on either part, little patience is required.
However, you do have a goal, a real "agenda" of sorts, so you must keep your perspective of the patience required for the outcome of your situation to equal that of how an innocuous friendship develops over time into an EA, then PA. You know already how time is your friend, and more time will help this.
I realize I'm not really telling you anything you don't already know, but it's fascinating to watch your progress. Keep up the very good work and resist the temptation to rush anything. Your progress and patience is very impressive.
