First off, let me say that I'm pretty much an impostor by posting in piecing when it was way to early for me to be here and now I'm not even piecing. But I think I'm going to stay until my thread locks because ... well, just because.
But I've been thinking about what login wrote and realizing that what I post isn't necessarily the way things happen, and it is certainly telling to see what I've focused on.
For instance, during the process of moving out, W mentioned many things. She asked what I needed from a relationship; what I would do to start building a new relationship between us; what I wanted for myself in the future. I didn't have firm answers for these - told her that the first two were things we needed to work out together.
then she said I was a wonderful person and she was impressed by the things I was accomplishing.
So there are a lot of positives that I'm not concentrating on. Those, combined with her actions and with her admission of pain should let me know that she is really conflicted. But she admits to concentrating on the past negatives rather than being open to future positives in the R. And she thinks this is because she is no longer attracted to me, even though we can sit and have long conversations and reach out to each other in comfort and cry on each other's shoulder. She needs time to end it with OM, plain and simple. She can't split her emotions between two people and right now her emotions are with him, not me.
But I would certainly benefit from not wearing my heart on my sleeve, being less forthcoming with my thoughts and opinions when talking with her, and moving on with my own life.
Just ranting a bit. Will schedule a DB session and see if that helps.
