Back on the Roller Coaster - OW still around

[fooled again]

Mike,

Yeah, but you weren't in the middle of MLC. I think my H did alot of staring off into space, napping and watching Judge Judy during that time. He was pretty depressed. I like to believe that my DBing helped keep him from withdrawing as much as he could have.

I'm guessing Jodi is your DB coach. Yes I have thought alot about what hoops H would have to jump through, and it occurred to me that he was probably referring to another list I had written in my journal, a couple of entries before the pro/con list. It was from a suggestion by another poster, who had made a list of the signs that he would need to see in order to feel that he was getting closer to his goal of his W moving back home. He said write down the goal, then work backwards through all the steps/signs that would lead to H moving home.

So I think my H MUST have seen that list too, but probably didn't understand exactly what it was. I'm not ready to talk about it w/ him yet, but I've definitely thought alot about what kinds of things would happen before H moved home (spending more time hanging out at the house, staying over more often, leaving a few things behind, etc., etc.). It was an interesting list to make, since it made me realize that H moving back home is not simply a matter of him showing up one day w/ all his stuff the way he left. It's been a year and he has his own home now. It is a bit discouraging, which is why I'm not getting all worked up about anything changing quickly. But your suggestion to look at some posts in "Piecing" sounds like a good idea. Thanks.

My knee, or I should say a tendon at the back of my thigh just above my knee, was injured so stupidly when I slipped on some frost in a pair of slingbacks in December. I landed right on my a$$ and it hasn't felt good since. But yesterday it felt better, so I'm encouraged.

No way I could run a marathon anytime soon. I just can't see me beating myself up for that amount of time. Maybe a half, but I think someone would have to double dog dare me to do it, and even then... Of course if I thought my H would be incredibly impressed, that would be different. LOL! 100 miles!! I'd have to be on crack to do something like that.

But exercise for me is a way to modulate my emotions. When I'm not able to work out, I can feel it build up inside of me and it's not a good thing. I burn off that nervous energy and sweat out the toxins, and the end result is that I feel better and have more energy, and I look better. In fact I think that I too am in the best shape I've ever been. At first I lost alot of weight fast, and I looked thin and sickly. But now that I've built up some muscle, I look strong. It's a great feeling and really helps my PMA.

I'll try not to go wild and crazy (I actually can't do that anymore - it's too hard on my body and brain), but I think letting my hair down a bit might be good therapy. It's been a looooong time.

BTW, H sent me a text and then later called me from CA today when he landed. I can't remember the last time he did that while on a business trip. He also told me which hotel he was staying at tonight. Again, it's been a very long time. A couple more baby steps! I let D leave him a good night message, but I will wait to see if he calls tonight. If not, I'll send him a little goodnight text. I think it may be time to reach out a bit more to him, but very, very subtly and in a non-demanding way. He complained last week that he is always the one to call and often can't get ahold of me. But if he misses one of my rare calls, he feels terrible and wonders when I will call again. That to me is a clear indication that he would like me to call him more often, though I will not go completely in the opposite direction and call him all the time - I'll just call him a bit more often, maybe once a day or two, instead of once every few days.

FA