day by day

[Michael Mc C]

Hi LWB. A couple of things that have been on my mind. I completely understand missing your husband more when he is actually right there than when he is absent. The same happened to me. When the spouse is not there, we can remember how it used to be. They aren't in our face reminding us how different things have become. As another one of the "in-house separation" crew, my hat is off to you because I know how tough it has been.

Since your H is moving (has moved?) I think some boundaries need to be set. Most importantly in my mind is the fact that he can't be allowed to make your life miserable while he's there. If he wants to bitch about how horrible he feels because of you, then he needs to grow a set and stay away and finally realize his own accountability - and I don't just mean the A.

He has to understand that living separate lives means that he can no longer assume that you are going to be there to listen to his tirades about how horrible things are.

Finally, if he's going to be any kind of a father, he needs to recognize what he is doing when he's being 'rude' to the kids. If any of my kids told me that I would be crushed.

I know that this is preaching to the choir. I sure wish I could sit with him and help him to understand the lunacy of his actions.

As always, I'll be thinking of you and your girls.