Hanging in there....

[Sugar and Spice]

GoingForward,

I sure do. I have lost 35lbs. since this whole thing started and I go to the gym at lunch most days. I also go to IC as well as MC.

I know he is confused, but he confuses me too! He was asking about some tax information and I told him he had a large stack of mail at my house and that I would bring it to him at our kids baseball games and he said that he hated to bring a bunch of stuff to his moms as thats not where he was going to be living. He also told me we should start buying up some of the houses that are in foreclosure so we could use them to build up our retirement portfolio, but then he wants to know when I'll be home on Saturday. He texted me and wanted to know what time I would be off and I told him about 5pm, why? No reply. So I was kidding and I texted him back "Hot Date" and he replied yeah. So when we were in person he asked again what time I would be home and then said, well if you get off at 5, you'll be home by 5:30 and that'll give me enough time. So I asked where he was going and he told me it wasn't any of my business, which really hurt. I told him that if he was worried about time, he could always ask my niece to come and watch them and he kept saying, well you'll be home. Then he comes off with, well I don't know why you are making a big deal out of it....HUH?

We have MC tomorrow, for the first time in a month. Last session I cussed him out and the C thought we needed about a month off to work on ourselves as my anger seemed to be simmering somewhere near the surface. I really haven't let him have it at all throughout this whole thing and I just got mad, I couldn't help it, and even though it wasn't helpful, it sure felt good!

I just don't know what to think. I have given him until July 4 to make a decision one way or another. This will give him time to work with a C and figure out who/what/why etc... that he wants for his life. This date is a moveable date though. He walked out on his last counselor and at that time I told him that if he found another counselor and made an appointment in a reasonable amount of time (a week) that the date would remain July 4, if he chose not to see a counselor, that the date would then move to May 1. When he protested, I reminded him that the time is for him to work with a counselor on his issues and left to his own devices that July was way too far away for me.

His appt. with a new person is this Friday,but he got on it right away. If he walks out on this one, the date moves to April 15, and it is a non-negotiable date.

I'm working on setting boundaries, I'm not very good at it, but I'm trying. I am also going back to school in the summer to finish up and transfer as a Junior to a University here to get a Business Admn. degree. I can't make him love me and I can't fix him, but I sure wish I could.

Thanks for all of your insight and support, everyone. I couldn't do it without you guys.