W just refuses to see how toxic her own thoughts have become, how that spills out and is noticed by our S's.
Against the DB rules, I sent W another response. I just couldn't sleep last night (if that was her real intent with her email, it worked.) I kept thinking how what W had said was so very much like our Bible reading in church just this past Sunday. So I got up, wrote the following and sent it about 1 AM this morning:
Quote:
W, you spoke of "drought".
I realize now that I foolishly allowed my "love tank" with you (as described by Dr. Gary Chapman) to become drained a long time ago. And I really wish I could change that, if you would let me. It did not and does not have to be this way.
More importantly though, I also know that your cup has been drained on an even deeper level -- and that you continue to seek desperately for a well with which to refill it.
I still love you, God help me. And I truly do wish the best for you -- I always have and always will. Though you care to believe it or not, I am still the best and truest friend you will ever know. I am far from perfect, that's for sure. I certainly don't claim to have all the answers, but as your friend I can tell you this:
If you thirst, you will never be truly sated by the waters of this world.
You won't find what you need in the arms or the bed of any other man. You won't even find it in me (admittedly). And you won't find it in your children or your family either. You won't find what you're looking for in any other mortal being.
Only the living water that Jesus Christ offers will ease your thirst, now and forever.
--NCB
I realize this will likely push W further away. It probably would have been much better to have said nothing at all. But I really feel that speaking the truth in love is my best option here. W's chief complaint to me has been how I would withdraw ino my "shell" rather than engage her -- she hates it if she thinks she's being ignored. But then she also says she hates it when I stand up to her, because I am too "opinionated." But then if I don't stand up for myself and just go along with her, she loses respect for me. I can never seem to find the right balance, and it ends up being a no-win situation.
I mean every word I said to her -- and if I am d*mned either way, I guess I would rather err on the side of honesty and truth.
But then here I am making excuses for taking a stance -- maybe I should just quit playing this game of hers altogther. It seems to just get me nowhere.
