I understand what you are saying, Hopeful....I have been S for nearly 2 years now, and really see no light coming yet. I believe its MLC too, but there are deep scars here from her childhood that I think is the main culprit here.
RMG, the addiction I speak of could be considered as sex, but here is the sitch she has to deal with....
As a teen, she used sex to get her own way with men...she has had sexual abuse as a child, so I justify that behavior...now I see her acting just like she did as the teenager she was then..but as an adult.
So you see, as much as I want to stand, I agree with you, Hopeful, that I want to stand because I really haven't heard God tell me to move on. I hear thoughts of holding on, but have yet to determine if its God or Satan.
I have heard people tell me before that they have been through hell and back for a very long time before they were rewarded. And they also say the reward IS WELL WORTH THE LENGTH OF THE WAIT.
That alone keeps me sane and stable.
So, while I might stand and unconditionally love her....I wont watch paint dry, but I also won't deny an opportunity for GAL if a woman wants to have dinner with me or go dancing sometime.
I am pretty good as being watchful of myself, as well as knowing I am nowhere near ready to have a serious R.
I also agree with you, RMG. I don't want to be friends if I am only to be used as a doormat. She knows my feelings and the last few days I have taken my power back, she has noticed, but seems perplexed as to what to do. I can tell you she still seems to feel more comfortable around me than any of her BFs. It is like she is cake-eating....she gets her fun from the OM, but her stable comfort from me. That is not going to happen, Im sorry.
Thank u and God bless
Chevelle
Chevelle,
WOW! That is some sitch.... A tough one... It seems like she could have used C a long time ago...
I know what you mean by the "doormat" comment.... I am pretty darn certain if I had been friends with exW, she would have responded. I think she would have got beyond the anger. I think she would have been jealous of the gals in my life....
The real question is – What are you left with? A person who will walk away again? Someone who will always be there AND not walk away EVER? I have NO clue..... I wish I did... How you handle it is up to you...
You both will be in my prayers....
Take Care,
RMG
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before." from "Good Will Hunting"
