Tomorrow will be 2 months that he has been gone and he still can't decide.
Is he offering up his thoughts on his own? Or are you asking for them?
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I was talking to him today and I asked what he wanted for his birthday and he said a brain and the courage to make a decision either way. I told him he just needed to do whatever he needed to do for himself.
Not trying to be rude, but he's throwing himself a little pity party. My H did that quite frequently.
Your H, as well as mine, was/is probably feeling rather disappointed in himself. Next time he says something negative about himself, how can you help lift his spirits and boost his confidence? Point out anything positive he's got going on in his life. Help him feel better about himself.
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...why all of this waffling and making things harder than they need to be?
Your H is confused, and I don't think he's intentionally making things harder. He's got a lot on his mind to work through and figure out on his own. You cannot help him here. All you can do is continue to be supportive when he needs you to be. Just be his friend. The kind of friend we all go to when we just need to talk. The friend who listens, validates, never judges, and looks at the brighter side. Be positive.
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I have noticed that the less I contact, the more he contacts me. He has called me 4 times in the last 2 days and his comment is always, "I don't know why I'm calling to tell you this!"
He's calling because you're not chasing him (no begging, pleading, or pursuing from you). He's calling because he still feels he can talk to you. He's calling because he wants to.
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I'm sooo confused, I want to push, but it'll just end up badly, but I also am getting tired of waiting.
You are precisely right! If you push, it won't be good. Don't do it.
Time and patience both can be your worst enemies yet also your best friends. (Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. )
Be patient with your H and give him the time he desperately needs. Again, he has a lot to deal with on his own.
YOU have stuff to work on as well, don't you?
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
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