Sigh. The PMS certainly does make it harder to pull out of the funk. And I'm sorry the brick hits keep coming. I think you're right--the poison has to come out. You've had to swallow a lot of it. Once it's out, I know you won't let it come back and do more damage.
Do you have any strategy for changing your focus? When I was bombarded with thoughts of H's betrayals, I would chant over and over: I enjoy a happy, fulfilling M to a loving, faithful, worthy man. (Notice there are no names there--if H wants to be that man, great. If not, someone else will be.)
Cat, Hey there I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am also forced to leave the piecing board after being here for just one short week of my H's return and then abrupt running away again.
I plan on not giving up completely yet (shut the door but not lock it). I know that now that my third try at my M is over I need to go back to focusing on myself and detatching all over again.
I will go back and post and lurk on the MLC board for now, and I hope to see you there. TIPPER
I think you are entiled to a good cry, and to feel really bad and angry about that. Gosh, I know I would. In fact, I would probably anti-db and make some back-handed comments to H if the opportunity arose (the day of my "cry/anger fest".... but later on I'd have a friend talk me out of it, that's if the opportunity hadn't arose and I hadn't already created some drama).
It definitely wouldn't be a Mother Thesera moment for me.....
{{{{hugs}}}} to you sweetie. I think you are amazing.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
Cat, I have to ask "what the H was your MC doing?" How is going back to the beginning of the M and re-hashing any and all hurts going to help you two as a couple? That pisses me off. All it did was pretty much what any moron could expect it would do, enhanced the loss of love! A Solution Focused/ Oriented Counsellor would have interupted and said "is this what you two want to do with your time today?" What about discussing the times you two feel really connected together, even if it's only been a rare occurance! What about talking about what things are going well for you, find the EXCEPTIONS and build on them. The reason Michelle helped develop the Divorcebusting approach is because what you and your H just experienced KILLS HOPE! Sitting around emoting about all the horrors of twenty years ago or even the recent years is a useless demoralizing exercise which was not necesssary. You guys know it sucks that's why you're there! How did any of this session help? Sorry for the rant, it just pisses me off to see you go through this kind of nonsense! Give yourself time to reflect and put that behind you before making any plans. Sorry you're hurting right now. Oh, just to add, I have two divorced female friends who have both said that MC was the most horrible experience of their lives! How sad that what is supposed to help becomes a horror story? Feel better!
