Was your H acting the same way when the D was called off last year?
No, he wasn't. He was saying a lot of things I wanted to hear, but he wasn't doing the things I wanted to see. H was all talk and no show. I didn't know it at the time, but I believe it was because he was dating someone then.
He hasn't started to move in yet, but he's coming around and calling much more frequently. He's more affectionate and flirty with me, too, and everything is "we" or "us".
I know it's only been about a week, but after 3 years, this is the first time I have ever truly felt hopeful.
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Is he willing to go to MC? I think you are voicing your concerns to him but he isn't hearing them, maybe a MC could help with this disconnect.
Unfortunately, he isn't willing. I've brought it up many times before, but he flat out refuses. Says he doesn't believe in it. That's too bad because I really believe he and I could benefit greatly from MC.
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I usually wouldn't say you should pressure him to move back in but the problem is that your H runs when the going gets tough. At the first sign of conflict he leaves....maybe if he didn't have anywhere to run it would help. Right now he can just go to "his place", and doesn't really have to put anyone out.
Yes, exactly! That is why I have had to finally put my foot down this time, and I think H knows that I really mean business now. He knows this is it.
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From your last few posts on your other thread it seems he really wants to work on it. Give him a chance, but you have to stick to your guns if he doesn't follow through.
I know. If that happens, it will be a huge disappointment, but not only am I hoping, I'm also feeling that may not happen this time.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
