Quoting AchingMan: I must admit I am sad to have to resort to trying to eliminate my desire instead of feeding and relishing it but I'm tired of aching for her touch. I'm still going to be sweet and do nice things for her but I'm going to hold myself back sexually. I used to think that repressing one's sexuality was unhealthy but now I realize that being frustrated in more unhealthy. Since nothing I do has an impact on her being attracted to me I will give up on trying. If I leave little to be rejected about then I can’t be rejected as much. I am focusing myself on other areas, hobbies, time with my son. It will be difficult and I am feeling the loss of one of life’s joys but I no longer see any alternative.
Aching Man,
I am glad there are still spouses around like you who are even thinking of lowing their drives instead of looking elsewhere to have their desires met. I hope that one day soon your W will come to realize how much you love her and how committed you are to your M and like Jen work to at least meet you half way in the intimacy department if not all the way. I too am trying to suppress my need and have told H that I feel like part of me is dying a slow death. At least now that he has broken the drought of 20 months, I hope that things will improve but I dare not even speak of it anymore. I just hope that things will get better from here. I hope that for you too. All I can say is don't give up, keep looking for solutions and maybe one day....
