Hello Seek, I have been going to counseling for about three weeks now was going twice a week but now just once. I had a lot of stuff from several deaths and then the whole seperation thing and I never dealt with it properly and it manifested itself while I was seeing my fiancee. I feel better now that I know what the root of the problem is and have really dealt with it. I now am just practicing what I have learned and checking in with the counselor. He has me writing a lot and reading some really good books that if given the chance I would love to apply to my relationship with her again. She really is the coolest lady I have every met and she has a very soft side to her that I cherish. We saw each other this past weekend at a friends house and went boating. We had a good time, some good laughs, some quiet time and a few actions on her part that I can't begin to tell you how much I miss. She didn't want me to get my hopes up but said she missed me. It is so hard to see myself here when all I want is to be married to her. I have done so much to turn myself around and do the things I know would make her happy, I can only hope it comes to fruition. As for her actions about my counseling she really didn't say much about it, but really she didn't need to. The counseling is for me, no one made me go and I wasn't trying to restore our relationship by just going through the motions. With her help I finally saw a problem in me that I could not explain. Again I am happy I have my act together, what comes of it I can't tell you but another chance to show her the new me is more than able to be a partner that shares the same ideas of a relationship and how one should or should not act. I have also learned a thing or two about making the relationship stronger and doing more on my part to ensure trust and understanding. Funny how our actions saw the wrong thing about us or leave one to wonder what we might be up to when there is nothing going on. So I feel I was week in that area. I simply miss her and want to be with her. Thanks for listening and you're input SEEK.
