Quoting AchingMan:
She just shrugged her shoulders and we went on to play tea party instead of doctor.

Maybe when we play hard-to-get we don't get got at all.


Hey AM, Yeah, I don't think it works that way for women.


My H read my reply above and said "I didn't know you felt that way!"

I read romance novels sometimes. Novels that could be considered "soft porn". The women (girls actually) are always virgins and the men are always confident with their desire and often wind up being "teachers". The men also treasure and respect the virginity they're so willed to take, apologizing for the pain they're about to cause yet assuring the ladies that they will enjoy it next time.

If it's all "fiction", then why do so many women read these stories? I mean it's a multi-bazillion-dollar industry!

My thinking is that, well for me anyway, sex is a gift. It's a language of love (no, I haven't read the book yet). I definitely don't want to be thanked for it. I'd rather be thanked for being a good mom or for doing the laundry. But... to be told the truth, that my loving makes my H feel manly, and maybe not in those words, but in gestures of masculinity....

Not sure where I'm going with this, nor am I sure if I have any advice, but...

There's just something to being appreciated for that particular gift I sometimes give, rather than feeling I'm fufilling some wifely duty as an object, a vessel, a... means by which my H can feel good about himself.

Anyway, about your W calling your advances "rape"... there has to be an understanding between you two before that kind of ravishing can take place. Sure, your W doesn't care right now about your needs, she's too wrapped up in hers. I think the priciples of DB'ing might work very well here... start with goals for you, try to find out what your W's goals are and go from there.