I did absolutely nothing Saturday and it was GREAT! I just relaxed. I didn't worry about H or what he was doing or if he was ok. Haven't done that in a while.
My mother and I went to eat at the restaurant H works at (at his request) yesterday for lunch. He was glad to see us. He is getting more and more comfortable around my mom, which is good.
I went out with H last night. He again told me how much he appreciates everything I am doing for him. I tried to give him half the money we got from the taxes and he wouldn't take it. He told me that was the least he could do. When he left HE gave ME a kiss. Kind of caught me off gaurd.
Our anniversary is Wednesday. I am still trying to decide what I am going to write in his card.
I was thinking today about my H. I finally feel like he is back. When things were really bad, he really was a completely different person. It was like he didn't care anything about me, I really felt like he hated me. He was mean. I can't even believe some of the things he said. He doesn't even REMEMBER some of the things he said. He was so cold, and he even acted that way towards his family. He truly became someone that I didn't know. I really do think he was in a crisis. I am not sure that he has worked through it all, but I definitely see the changes. I think in time he will be ok.
He is slowly starting to call me more. I notice that when he has news or needs to tell someone something, I am the one he calls. He has told me that I am his best friend and that no one has ever accepted him the way I have. Things have taken a complete turn. We are at the friends stage right now more than the romantic one...but that is SO much better than what it was. He is also my best friend. When things were so bad, I couldn't figure out why I still wanted him....but I am starting to remember .
Thanks Michelle. I just have this sense of calmness. Friday night with H was really good. We just sat around and talked all night, we didn't even have the tv on, just some music. I am starting to feel comfortable around him again, which at one point I thought I would never feel.
When things were really bad, he really was a completely different person. It was like he didn't care anything about me, I really felt like he hated me. He was mean. I can't even believe some of the things he said. He doesn't even REMEMBER some of the things he said. He was so cold, and he even acted that way towards his family. He truly became someone that I didn't know. I really do think he was in a crisis. I am not sure that he has worked through it all, but I definitely see the changes. I think in time he will be ok.
Wow, I could've written this myself! Except my H does remember every horrible thing he said. He cannot believe he said such things and is truly remorseful.
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I notice that when he has news or needs to tell someone something, I am the one he calls. He has told me that I am his best friend and that no one has ever accepted him the way I have....He is also my best friend.
Same here. H calls me frequently throughout the day now just to talk or share something with me, and he's told me that no one ever accepted him or stood by his side and supported him the way I did. The way I have and will continue to do, together or not. He is someone I care deeply for, someone I love, and no matter what, I want to see him accomplish his goals and succeed in life. He feels the same way, but rather, he says he wants to see us succeed together.
My best friend's back. I missed him.
Wishing you well, klm!
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
GF, I feel the same way that you do. I will continue to support him whether we are together or not. I also want him to succeed in life and accomplish his goals. I just needed him to be my friend again.
When things were bad, I felt like I was in the twilight zone. This man was saying and doing things that I never thought he was capable of...and I in turn said and did things I didn't think I was capable of. I still look back and think "Did that really happen?" I do feel like our marriage can be a lot stronger now.
This man was saying and doing things that I never thought he was capable of...and I in turn said and did things I didn't think I was capable of. I still look back and think "Did that really happen?"
Ditto, and after reading your post, I realized that I omitted in my response the part where I did the same. I was so hurt and couldn't believe he said what he said to me, so to "retaliate", I would act hurtful, too. I'd hit him (not physically!) where I knew it would hurt the most. It was so wrong for me to do, and I hated that I acted that way. I eventually apologized and said I was so sorry for ever saying such things. They were not true and that wasn't how I felt at all. I just wanted him to hurt as badly as I had. I apologized a few times before, but at Christmas, I bought him a card and wrote down exactly what I wanted to say. After he finally opened it (which was 2 or 3 weeks later ), he came to me and gave me a big hug. He said, "I just read your card. Thank you so much for that. You have no idea what it means to me." It was later that week when he said he wanted to reconcile.
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I do feel like our marriage can be a lot stronger now.
I'm very happy for you! Cheers!
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Things are not where I want them to be but I think they are heading that direction.
Yes GF, I reacted completely different than I ever thought I would. I also retaliated and wanted him to hurt as much as me, so I said things that I knew would hurt him. I too later apologized in an email for how I acted. I told him that I had kept telling him that he was a different person...but I had also become a different person and not one that I liked. I now feel that rather than getting mad at him...I should have been worried about him.
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), he came to me and gave me a big hug. He said, "I just read your card. Thank you so much for that. You have no idea what it means to me." It was later that week when he said he wanted to reconcile.