I understand what you are saying, Hopeful....I have been S for nearly 2 years now, and really see no light coming yet. I believe its MLC too, but there are deep scars here from her childhood that I think is the main culprit here.
RMG, the addiction I speak of could be considered as sex, but here is the sitch she has to deal with....
As a teen, she used sex to get her own way with men...she has had sexual abuse as a child, so I justify that behavior...now I see her acting just like she did as the teenager she was then..but as an adult.
So you see, as much as I want to stand, I agree with you, Hopeful, that I want to stand because I really haven't heard God tell me to move on. I hear thoughts of holding on, but have yet to determine if its God or Satan.
I have heard people tell me before that they have been through hell and back for a very long time before they were rewarded. And they also say the reward IS WELL WORTH THE LENGTH OF THE WAIT.
That alone keeps me sane and stable.
So, while I might stand and unconditionally love her....I wont watch paint dry, but I also won't deny an opportunity for GAL if a woman wants to have dinner with me or go dancing sometime.
I am pretty good as being watchful of myself, as well as knowing I am nowhere near ready to have a serious R.
I also agree with you, RMG. I don't want to be friends if I am only to be used as a doormat. She knows my feelings and the last few days I have taken my power back, she has noticed, but seems perplexed as to what to do. I can tell you she still seems to feel more comfortable around me than any of her BFs. It is like she is cake-eating....she gets her fun from the OM, but her stable comfort from me. That is not going to happen, Im sorry.
