The recent discord on the board has been a sad and troublesome experience for many. I am starting this thread to encourage a positive and professional dialogue where we can offer suggestions along with CONSTRUCTIVE criticism if it is needed. Perhaps it is an irony, but I am not against banning--when it is warranted. Many will find valid the banning/deletions of the poster who made threats of a lawsuit because his posts were being deleted and encouraged others to support him. But what of the more subtle cases? There can sometimes be a fine line between meanness or rudeness and tough love. Some posters cross the line and become hurtful. What then? Perhaps if an entire post is mean the decision is easier.
What about when some things are nasty and some things are neutral.
What about when a poster makes nasty personal remarks to another poster that are not related to DB'ing.
What if the poster does that in the middle of a post that is about DB'ing?
What about slander?
What is to be done when a poster offers appropriate support to some and singles others out for nastiness?
AmyC martyred herself for me and others. I hope she doesn't stay away. But her actions were deliberate and she felt nothing else would work, it seems that the DB organization even understands this since she was warned rather than banned.
I have asked the DB administrators to post the DB rules of conduct agreed upon when registering in this thread. If others feel it would be beneficial, search similar forums and post their rules here for comparison.
What is the purpose of DB and this forum--MLC?
Originally Posted By: sgctxok
The premise of this whole board is to use Michele's DB principles. While you are not happy with it...that is the SOLE purpose of the board....to offer each other brainstorming solutions and get support.
Do you agree? I do not. That statement failed to mention anything about relationships. Here is what I think regarding our purpose. The purpose of this board is to help people with their relationship problems. The main focus in seeking solutions is the principles as outlined in the books serving as the flagship for this site: Divorcebusting and Divorce Remedy. Divorcebusting is about Solution-Oriented Brief Therapy. Michele did not create the concept and sites numerous sources. Two Main Themes
Do What Works
If something is not working, Do Something Different
At times, the things that is different is not outlined in Divorcebusting, it may come from one of Michele's primary sources, or from somewhere else. But looking exclusively to Michele's books for specific strategies is ironically not consistent with DB principles. What are your thoughts regarding our purpose? Do you have ideas for creating a mission statement for these boards? How about a mission statement specific to this forum? Or should there be a different (though related) mission statement?
What can we do to make our community a safe place for us to both find and offer help?
I will start by listing a few of my ideas.
First, I regret to say that I feel sgctxok should not moderate this forum. It is not my intent to discredit or insult her. Even if she apologizes and returns to her former moderating methods, many in this forum, myself included, no longer trust her. She has destroyed her reputation and credibility with us. Can that be built back? Perhaps. But not right now. The series of bannings are not the only concern. Many posters have questioned her knowledge of assisting those dealing with the specifics of MLC. Should the MLC moderator be one with MLC experience either as an LBS or MLCer?
Recreate an MLC Resources Sticky
Create A DB Resources Sticky Include in this sticky topic: links to DB and KLA and other Topic threads
Acting As If
Baby Steps
Detachment
Last Resort & 180
What You Focus On Expands
Getting a Life: What to Do, How, Why...
Some don't like all of the light-jokey threads...so how about a special forum for fun release--with a folder link in each forum, or a separate folder with these threads.
Solution Journals: Can we try putting these in their own folder? But regardless, let's give them a chance! Administrators: Can you offer a poll on the effectiveness of these after about three months?
Is there a Newbie Greeting Club? I don't know what such a thing would entail or if it would be beneficial...but what are you're your thoughts?
Technical Issue If a post is written in Word and pasted into the box, some characters will not translate--apostrophes (’), quotes (“”), elipses (…)and em dashes (—) come to mind. I have to retype them in the posting box. Can this be remedied?
So let's hear your ideas. What is working and what isn't working? How can we make this place better?
