I think Sooner (and many others) would agree with me that it's not that we would exactly expect sex for our little gifts and kindnesses, rather it is the act of giving to her, the expression of the tenderness and shear love that we feel in that moment of pure generosity that causes an arousal in us. You see, not all men are horny simpletons. We may be horny but the nature of our sexuality and identity does not make us beastly or cavemanlike. This is a socially induced myth, an ideology that has damaged our reputation beyond repair.
For a man (forgive me, horny women, I can't speak for you), physical intimacy with our wives is simply the most profound expression of our love and connection to them. Apparently, this is often not the case from their perspective, as they appear to believe a selfless nonsexual act, such as as surprise mopping of the floor or a long discussion about her interests, is a more profound expression of love. For many men I think that meeting her needs along these lines would be more natural if she met our sexual needs from the perspective of what we need; and vice versa: if men met their wives needs maybe they would in turn become more sexually involved. It's a chicken-and-the-egg problem: who starts? Unfortunately, so far, my 15 yrs experience tells me otherwise. That is, my generosity and kindness seems to have little effect on a reciprocal act of kindness in the sexual realm, where my (our) greatest needs are. I find little corelation between giving and receiving. Receiving tends to be more closely related to the alignment of the planets and a set of circumstances so complex that Einstein gave up trying to figure out the Theory of Feminine Sexuality. The Theory of Relativity proved much easier to comprehend.
How do we get our low-lib spouses to realize that, aside from real physical needs, our sexual drive is built around the profound intimate expression of our love? Is there anything that is done on a daily basis that is such a powerful expression? You can only die for someone once. I honestly have a really hard time understanding how mopping the floor or other such acts can rate so high.
Are their many guys out there that are withholding sex from their wives because the dishes haven't been done or because the kids were bratty at the dinner table?
Are there women out there that would rather have their husbands ravish them ardorously on the stairs halfway through washing the dishes because their passionate love took over their self-control?
