So I may have to go dark, or at least "dimmer" than I am now
Just talked (sort of) to H and have been bawling ever since.
Things seemed to be okay before he left, we even played around in bed and kissed on the mouth, etc. And last night he called me to talk before he went to bed, just me, not the kids....
So I am sure I overreacted today but I am so emotional right now.
I sent H a TM this morning re. our S needing his RX refilled. H started new job yesterday and I don't have those insurance cards, and I know his old insurance got cut off last Friday. I wasn't going to contact H at all, but needed to so I could get the meds.
On a side note, H sold his truck. He is supposed to meet the people who are buying it down here in Kansas City tonight. Yesterday he asked me for their name and number b/c he left it at the house when he left.
So anyway, the phone rings at 1:15. It is H. I answer, thinking it is a reply re. the meds for S.
Me: Hello? H: Yeah, what's her name again? Carolyn? Me: Who? H: F**K! The people who want to-- Me: Don't call me if you are going to cuss me-- H: Click
So I guess I was supposed to know who he was talking about??? I gathered enough from the little he said to realize he meant the people who wanted to buy the truck, since he is meeting them tonight. He must have lost their contact info. again. BTW, her name is Janel, which is nothing like Carolyn?
I should have just let it go but since I am the one who always wants to finish an argument/solve the problem RIGHTNOW, I did. This is something I have been working on under my "patience" goals. I called him back at work.
Me: Hello? H: Yeah what? Me: Did you want her name/number? H: I found it, I don't need it. Me: Okay... H: What did you need from me AT THIS MOMENT? (In his best "I am sooo too busy for you right now" voice) Me: Just the prescription info-- H: What meds does he need? Me: The Cingulair and Nasonex-- H: Sh*t! Cingulair has been out for 3 days! If you refilled it Friday it would have been covered on my old card! (angry) Me: Well I didn't and besides I need the Nasonex today either way-- H: Just put it on the old insurance and we'll deal with it later, I don't have new cards yet. Me: Okay, I will. But you still didn't need to cuss me out b/c I didn't know who you were talking about...(waiting for apology of course ) H: FINE Me: Thanks for the FU***NG apology. Click
I know, so juvenile. So embarrassing, but still I am crying over it. I know logically that he is on day 2 of being the boss at a brand new job. Probably lots of work, overwhelmed, wondering if he made the right choice, etc. And I am sure as he called me he was thinking about the truck people in his head, which is why he asked the question and assumed I knew what he meant....
BUT
He still shouldn't get to cuss me out because I cannot read minds.
AND
I have some real problems still if I let one conversation w/H make me feel devastated and ruin my day.
So I guess my thought is not to call him back indefinitely, unless I get urgent job news or the kids come down with malaria. Not to punish him, but to help me. B/C it is too painful to let his moods dictate my moods. Hard to be PMA when I am crying....
Back to work, cleaning this place. Was going to treat myself to lunch out somewhere but lost my appetite.
)
