it just scares the f%^k out of me. i see her actualy agreeing to to stuff so i get happy. but when she does she seems to TRY to not have fun. so since she pulls away so damn hard im afraqid that if i just let go and wait she will continue her self-justified route away. i woke up today and realised that huge chunks of my life ( her family, our marital traditions) are not gone, possably forever. think i will hit the gym later. i need to get out of the funk.
