H is a very confused individual, and I believe he doesn't know what he really wants, says he loves the thought that knowing that he has a family to come home to helps him, but at the same time wants to stay with OW and let this be her problem now, which, right now I'm all for that.
I couldn't stand to look at him this weekend, but at the same time felt sorry for him, the pain in his eyes when I told him that I wouldn't allow myself to be used by him killed me too.
H became very angry at me and told me I should have chosen to let him have his cake basically, of course that wasn't the way he put it. I did ask him if he still felt he was betraying either one of us, when he had told both of us the same story about chosing one over the other, said no.
H told me so much, will not tell OW the truth about anything, doesn't want to lose her as well. I have always protected him from everything, especially from himself, this time I just can't do it anymore.
I told him to do what he wants. I do want to be his friend but I want to work on me right now. I and the kids are my priority he'll have to deal with this on his own however way he choses.
Trying to cope with my decision.
gsr
M 45 H 42
D 26 D 18 S 16
Married 19 years Together 24 years ILYBNILWY 1/7/08 OW 10/11/07 ended affair 3/14/08 came home 3/14/08 last contacted ow 3/17/08 4/19/08 trying to piece marriage back.
