Don't file (never file first!), just say something like, "Oh there's plenty of time for that..." and change the subject quickly when she brings it up... avoid relationship talk and work on developing a friendship.

Ask impersonal questions about her day, her life, stresses, etc..., listen, listen, listen, and ask further questions, let her talk out her feelings. Don't try to fix (most are unfixable anyway), but sort of repeat back what she says, validate her feelings and emphasize. Don't pursue, just try to be a comfortable "place" she'll eventually seek out and want to be around.

Try to be patient and think baby steps....


There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.